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CHAPTER XIII.
HER SPIRIT OF PRAYER; RECOLLECTION; UNION WITH GOD.
"And to Him my soul shall live." — Ps. xx, 31.
It is not surprising that the mind of our pious Sister was filled only with what concerned God and His worship, when we consider the brilliant lights, the sweet impressions of grace with which she was favored from her childhood, and which quickly raised her to the highest state of prayer and union with the Sovereign Good. Numerous vocal prayers and a variety of devout reading were always her delight. Furthermore, at an early age she learned how to find God in all creatures, and in every occurrence of life; her soul being absorbed in its divine object, made of everything a mysterious ladder, to rise upwards to Him. Believing that all enjoyed, as she did, this intimate presence of our Lord, she spoke of it quite naturally: "How would it be possible," she said, "not to have the good God ever present to our thoughts, since in Him we live, move and have our being" In our novitiates it is customary to question the novices when they are not expecting it, at recreation for example, to learn if they are keeping in the presence of the Most High God. The object of this wise practice is to form them to the interior life of contemplation, the principal end of our holy Order. Not to fail in truthfulness, she could only reply in the affirmative. But having sometimes remarked that her companions now and then prostrated to acknowledge themselves in fault, she begged the Mistress, through fear of singularity, to allow her also to prostrate sometimes at least, when so questioned. Notwithstanding her extreme care to keep her interior secret, she gave glimpses of the beauty of her soul. "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh." Without intending it, in the familiar conversations of the daily recreation time of Carmel, she would converse on her favorite subjects: the infinite goodness of God and His greatness; and she often used sublime expressions, but always, with sweet simplicity. Her countenance at such times reflected the fire which consumed her heart even whilst walking through the monastery. She sometimes forgot herself in prayer before some holy image, and others could pass near her without causing her the least distraction. Sister Teresa Margaret would be so profoundly absorbed that it would be necessary to call her several times, even to shake her, to bring her to herself. This continual union and deep recollection did not in any way distract her from the occupations laid upon her by obedience. On the contrary, accomplishing all her duties with facility and overflowing good will, she exemplified in her conduct the words of Wisdom: "Give me wisdom; send her out of Thy holy heaven, and from the throne of Thy Majesty, that she may be with me, and may labor with me." Father Ildefonso, so often quoted in the life of our servant of God, a religious well versed in mystical theology, and the happy director of this privileged soul, in the process of beatification said regarding her prayer: "Her prayer had attained that degree of union where, the natural life no longer being able to resist it, the soul is quickly called to contemplate, unveiled, the Divine Spirit, which she has so eagerly sought to discover and to know, even on this miserable earth." Continuing his deposition, he declared that the soul of Sister Teresa Margaret" seemed already to live free from the flesh." Nothing troubled her; indifferent to all that surrounded her, exterior things had no attraction for her heart except when God was directly or indirectly associated with them. With ease, sweetness and tranquil eagerness she raised her soul to God. Apart from the divine glory, nothing interested her. The unspeakable purity of her conscience, the ever-increasing horror of the least faults, humble resignation to interior sufferings, sometimes very severe, fortitude, generosity in accepting all that was most painful, these were the signs that this excellent director remarked in his spiritual daughter. If this gift of contemplation and this union with God, so sublime in itself, is worthy of our admiration, yet it is not necessary for sanctity. But the virtues which we have enumerated, and which we will continue to admire, are its badge. Let us imitate them, we above all who are struggling on the path to contemplation, for they are at once the sure signs of genuine contemplative prayer and the means of acquiring it.
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