|
|
|
CHAPTER XVIII.
HER HUMILITY AND SWEETNESS.
"Learn of Me that I am meek and humble of heart." — MATTH. xi, 29.
These divine words sounded unceasingly in the attentive ears of Sister Teresa Margaret. How would it have been possible that one so enlightened from on high should not understand them? How otherwise would it have been possible for her to desire humiliations and rejoice in them? She had so low an opinion of herself that she was astonished at the goodness of God preserving her in existence; and at the charity of her Sisters, who endured her in the community. "My Father, believe me," she said one day to her confessor, "all our Sisters are saints, angels from heaven — I tremble in seeing myself so unlike them. Truly, I am not worthy to be under their feet and serve them as a footstool. I try the patience of all, and I do not know how they bear with me, considering my bad example." On another occasion, speaking of some young girls who entered the convent to aid the white-veiled Sisters — a great many of the lay Sisters being sick, some childish, and one poor Sister having lost her mind, all this making outside help necessary — she expressed herself thus: "Think of it! my Father, these poor girls scarcely cross the threshold of this Paradise (this was her name for the monastery) when they become saints, while I grow worse every day, and am an object of scandal to all by my bad example." This was her usual language when speaking of herself. But her humility did not consist only in words; in imitation of her divine Master she was truly humble of heart. It was sufficient only to show her some esteem, to praise some one of her acts, to show her even the least little polite attention or charity, in order to cover her with shame and confusion and even cause her to shed tears. In October, 1765, at the Clothing of Sister Teresa Maria Ricasoli of the Immaculate Conception, Maria Louisa, Grand Duchess of Tuscany, deigned to honor Carmel with her presence. Among the religious around her she noticed particularly our young Sister, whose entrancing beauty attracted attention while the innocence and recollection apparent in her countenance inspired veneration. To the questions of the pious Princess and her kindly interest, our dear Sister, blushing with confusion, her eyes cast down, knew not how to answer a word. But with a most gracefully simple manner and with signs rather than words of respect, she slipped away as quickly as she could and hid behind the other religious. At times of recreation she spoke little, replying gently and modestly to the questions asked her. Although God had gifted her with a bright intellect, she tried to appear to have a dull mind, incapable of following the conversation and enjoying it. Reverend Mother Anna Maria belonged to the illustrious family of Piccolomini, of Siena, and died in the odor of sanctity, after having been the mainstay of the community, which she had edified by her sublime virtue; and she it was who first proposed the introduction of the canonical process of Venerable Teresa Margaret of the Sacred Heart. Sometimes this holy superior jokingly called her, our Sister "bobina," a term used in Siena, signifying one whose simplicity borders on silliness. The Venerable Sister rejoiced at this, thinking she had succeeded in passing herself off for a fool.
Many speak humbly of themselves; few know how to bear humiliations; very few know how to love them. The perfect only find happiness in desiring them, and enjoy them as a heavenly feast. It was this we admired in Sister Teresa Margaret. Our holy Foundress gives us the following advice: "When you are corrected, receive the reproof with true humility, interior as well as exterior, and pray to God for the person who has given it to you." This advice is universally respected at Carmel; no one would dare infringe it. To excuse oneself without grave cause would be a serious fault. Our dear Venerable Sister followed the teachings of our holy Mother with such perfection, that she showed in the practice of virtue a superior grade of holiness. The reader remembers the severe novitiate passed under the direction of an austere Mistress. Reproved unjustly, with repelling harshness, she would prostrate, acknowledge herself guilty, kiss the scapular of the Mistress as a mark of gratitude, rise up with a countenance radiant with interior peace, saying the customary words: "God reward your charity!" When in the novitiate chapel the Mistress, or at the chapter of faults the Prioress, as a reproof intended for all, called attention to failings, imperfections and faults, our Sister thought it was all intended for her; for she considered that in all the house she alone could be imperfect. Her love for contempt caused her to implore as a favor to be reproved for her faults, and she asked this even of the lay Sisters. More than once she was obliged to endure coarse words from a servant. She bore this insulting treatment in silence, with a humility which was an honor to her title of Spouse of Jesus Christ. The character of our Venerable Sister, far from being soft or naturally inclined to sweetness, was quick, fiery, and sanguine; but the complete and peaceful sway of patience wrought in her by grace, made her on every occasion, impervious to movements of irritability. During her whole life it was impossible to discover in her the least sign or the first motion of anger. Her sweetness was, however, often put to the test by strange, unexpected commands given one after the other by her superiors to exercise her in virtue. Father John Colombini called her, "a little lamb without pride or resentment." This sublime practice of meekness she had learned in meditating the words of the divine Master: "Learn of Me that I am meek and humble of heart." In this she resembled also St. Aloysius Gonzaga. The Venerable Sister confided to Father Ildefonso that she esteemed humiliations as a treasure beyond price, and no one was in her eyes a greater benefactor than one who gave her occasion to imitate the patience of our good Savior. The divine Master reserved an abundant harvest for her, as we will soon make known: it was the crowning of her short and fruitful life.
|
|
|