SAD FAREWELL

Nothing can be sadder or more painful for one of God's creatures, called to follow Him, than the last farewell to the family and all the places that recall a happy childhood.

That submission to the Divine Will, by a mother who gives up her child, who has already cost her many a sacrifice and at the same time "brought her so much consolation by her virtues is indeed a generous offering. What a heart-breaking moment for this gentle, affectionate soul.

"To tell you what it cost me", wrote Sister Elizabeth of the Trinity, another great Carmelite soul, to her mother, "would always be far less than the actual truth. In fact, many a time, while shut in my little cell so full of peace and silence, I have asked myself how I could ever have left so good a mother. But I have immolated. everything on the altar of my heart to Him Who is the Spouse of Blood. I feel the urge to thank you, dear mother, because without your faith, how could I have left? Yet He wished me to sacrifice even you to His love. Carmel is like Heaven; one must give up everything to possess Him Who is all. But I love you as one loves one's country; there can be no separation between us because the One that I possess in me dwells also in you; thus we are united forever. I love you with all my heart of a Carmelite, with this heart that is all His, and all of the Blessed Trinity."

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When the hour of departure had struck, Anna Mary knelt beside the bed of her mother, who was ill, and affectionately implored her blessing. The girl was trying to hide the pain in her heart, but in vain, the maternal eye is all too seeing. "Why then do you leave me?" she queried.

"Ah! mother, how could I resist the voice of God? It is for Him and for Him alone that I make this great sacrifice. Jesus, Who has such a tender heart, understands all my grief and He sustains me with His grace and has prepared me for this great detachment. He opens His arms to me and tells me He is unknown, insulted, abandoned ... how could I forget or abandon Him too? It is necessary that I go ... I must consecrate myself entirely to Him ... I must cooperate with His Passion to save souls and give them back to His Divine Heart. It was you, dear mother, who taught me when I was a child, never to deny anything to Jesus and always to be generous with Him."

The words of the daughter mingled with the sobs of the mother, who was struggling with her grief while holding her little "Annie" in her arms ... but, suddenly becoming heroic, she made a supreme effort of the will and in a sublime act of faith, said: "Go, beloved child of mine; I am happy to give you back to God, consigning you to His care and to that of His blessed Mother".

There was a moment's tense silence. Cavalier Ignatius remained motionless at the foot of the bed, with his arms rigid and folded and his eyes hidden, so as not to betray the weakness of his tears. Hurt to the very core of his heart, he felt the wound and flinched anew at the sight of his wife's sorrow.

"Mother, bless me ... Mother, forgive me" ... and she hid her face in her mother's bosom.

Only the quiet sobbing of the three grief-stricken people could be heard. From the half open windows, the sun shone on a scene that might have been carved in stone.

Suddenly, they seemed to come to life again, a white hand poised for a moment on the fair curls ... a loving kiss was placed on the forehead of the young girl who rose exhausted by the fight, but victorious over her heart.

Down in the outer hall were congregated all the servants and old retainers of the family; the peasants who worked in the vineyards were there too. All wished to see the last of their beloved young mistress.

Anna Mary appeared with her father, hiding all she was suffering under a gracious smile. She caressed the children, gave an affectionate kiss to the old peasant women who had known her from her infancy, she thanked them, she was affable with all, ... then resolutely she stepped out to the waiting carriage.

The crowd left behind, without a dry eye among them, were discussing her ... how lovely she was, with her beautiful blue eyes, her exquisite complexion and fair tresses, so luxuriant, so fine and golden.... With her enchantingly sweet smile, Anna Mary already seemed like a fleeting vision of one of God's angels.

The Saints have indeed very strong human affections and St. Theresa of the Child Jesus had good cause to exclaim: "I cannot imagine any Saint who has not loved his family".

During the journey, Anna Mary remained silent and introspective, without showing any sign of weakness so as not to grieve her sorrowing father. He, though most unobtrusively, was watching her and could see the tempest of conflicting emotions warring in her generous heart.

"When we started off in the carriage," said Cavalier Ignatius, "I watched her without letting her notice it. I could see she was serenely composed and sustained by some invisible force. She remained pensive for about an hour. Then she resumed her sweet, gentle, cheerful manner and thus continued for the rest of the journey."

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