SISTER - CARMELITE - DISCALCED
Do you recall that passage in Montalambert's book entitled
"The Monks of the West", where he tells of the vocation of
his daughter, aged twenty-two? Perhaps you do not, so let us read this
page, because it clearly explains the secret of a vocation.
"Have you ever seen a child enjoying the first budding of
nature in March or April? The dawn of admiration lights up her
expression, and her eyes sparkle at the sight of the rebirth of woods
and trees. Well, the spring of life is now faced with the spring of
nature and it is an enchantment. But there is something yet more
surprising, that transports the soul to the greatest heights of human
emotion. It is the adolescent virgin, blooming with youth and beauty,
detaching herself from all the pleasures of life, to breathe only in
the higher pastures of Heaven.
"Is this a dream, a page of romance, or ancient history of
something dead and gone? No, it is something that can be seen or heard
of any day in our very midst. One day, the girl rises and says to her
father and mother: 'I am going to die, all is finished, I die, I die
to you, I die to everything here. I will neither be a wife nor a
mother, I will no longer stay with you; I belong only to God.'
Nothing can keep her, she is ready for the sacrifice, silent and
gracious, with an angelic smile and a serene ardor. Fresh and sweet,
she is Creation's masterpiece.
She can hardly restrain the passion that consumes her to go and bow
her head under the monastic veil that will be a yoke to her for the
rest of her life and a crown for all eternity.
The sacrifice accomplished, she has spanned the abyss with loving
ardor and with the magnificent forgetfulness of self that is the glory
of youth; and with invincible enthusiasm that nothing can ever quench
or even equal.
Who can be this invisible Lover, Who died an ignominious death on
the cross nearly two thousand years ago? Who so attracts youth,
beauty, love? Who appears to souls with a splendor and an attraction
which they are unable to resist? Who swoops down and gathers His prey?
Who takes the flesh of our flesh and slakes His thirst in our purest
blood? Who is He? Is it a man? No, He is a mystery. Every day
thousands of dear people leave castles and hovels, palaces and shops,
to consecrate their hearts to God, as well as their souls, their
virginal love, their possessions, their lives.
Every day girls of noble families and grand hearts, larger even
than their fortunes, dedicate themselves in the morning of life, to an
immortal Spouse.
Only God can call forth similar triumphs and be worthy of such
abnegation. This Jesus proves every moment with miracles of
self-abnegation and courage that we call "vocations". Young
and innocent hearts give themselves to Him to compensate Him for the
gift He has given us of Himself; and this sacrifice that crucifies us,
is merely the response of human love to the love of a God Who let
Himself be crucified for us.
Anna Mary was by now sure of her vocation. After having prayed
much, she had opened her heart to Father Jerome Mary Cioni, of the
Company of Jesus, whom she had chosen for her confessor. The holy man
immediately recognized the clear will of God in the young girl and
advised her to tell her mother as soon as possible, while he himself
would take the task of informing her father.
Cavalier Ignatius had told his daughter that she was not to select
a mode of life for herself until she had attained the age of
seventeen. It was on her seventeenth birthday that she went and told
her mother the news of her intention of becoming a discalced
Carmelite.
It was July 15, vigil of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel. Mrs. Redi was
alone in her workroom when her daughter suddenly entered. Anna Mary
seemed sweeter and gentler than ever, but with a grave air about
her. Her mother was surprised, especially since she noticed a certain
hesitancy about her child, almost an embarrassment in speaking. For a
moment she wondered if the girl had fallen in love and was shy of
mentioning her lover's name. She scrutinised her with the expert eye
of a mother. Anna Mary had suddenly become very pale, then she blushed
and tears came into her beautiful eyes ... finally she opened her lips
and spoke, telling of the great secret of her life ... Sister!
... Discalced! ... Carmelite! Mrs. Redi felt as if her heart would
break ... she saw herself being robbed of that angel who was her joy
and who measured up to all her highest hopes. She tried some feeble
protests, such as are often dictated by affection rather than by
intellect. She reminded her of her delicate health, the family who
loved her, her parents who worshipped her. Anna Mary remained without
speech, with her eyes cast down so as to hide her tears; but these
same tears were eloquent signs of her suffering. She turned her face
to her mother and, transfigured with supernatural light, exclaimed:
"I do love all of you, dear mother, and you all are very dear to
my heart, but I love God above all and I want to give myself entirely
to Him".
Mrs. Redi realized that nothing she could say would alter her
daughter's mind, and since she was full of piety and understanding,
she decided, then and there, not to oppose her daughter's
vocation. She bowed her head; her heart seemed broken. God was taking
flesh from her flesh, a part of herself, as it were. However, in spite
of her great suffering, she gave her blessing to the glorious victim
who, in crucifying herself, was also crucifying her.
When Mrs. Redi told Cavalier Ignatius of their daughter's vocation,
he concealed the fact that he had already been told about it and tried
to comfort her. Before giving his actual consent, however, he wished
to be perfectly convinced of the genuineness of Anna Mary's
vocation. However much he admired Father Cioni and his qualities, he
wished to have her examined and interrogated by some eminent and
competent person. He sent for Canon Joseph Mary Tonci from a
neighboring city, a man known for his piety and doctrine; full of
discernment in things spiritual and of widespread fame. He pronounced
the young girl's vocation to be so true, so divinely inspired, that he
felt quite carried away by it himself; but even then Cavalier Ignatius
was not entirely satisfied.
There was at that time, in the nearby Convent of Santa Maria delle
Grazie, a certain Father John Colombino, Provincial of the Discalced
Carmelites. Mr. Redi, taking advantage of his friendship with the
priest, begged him to test his daughter's vocation. The priest went to
the house and tried to portray, in all their ugliness, the austerities
of a Carmelite's life. He soon discovered that the young girl was in
no way moved or upset by that terrifying and perhaps even exaggerated
picture of her future life. She seemed, on the contrary, more and more
eager to become a daughter of St. Theresa, and to follow God in His
sufferings on the Cross. He then assured the parents that this was in
truth a real vocation and he advised them to write at once to the
Superior of the Convent of St. Theresa in Florence and ask if they
would accept her. Anna Mary went into an ecstasy of joy when she heard
the news of her parent's consent.
In the letter addressed to the Mother Prioress, who at that time
was Mother Mary Magdalene of Jesus (Quaratesi), the girl revealed her
ardent desire to enter that house of Angels. The reply was not long in
coming, and could not be anything but favorable. In fact, it contained
an invitation to go to Florence as soon as possible, and begin the
trials of the religious life.
What her feelings were on receiving this announcement is revealed
in her letter to Cecilia Albergotti, the girl who had gone to see her
at the school of St. Apollonia.
"I am counting the minutes to the hour," she wrote,
"when I shall come and live in that holy convent where I know I
shall be very happy, and I hope, thanks to your example and
that of the other dear Sisters, to become what my beloved Spouse would
wish me to be. Having given me the great honor of calling me to such a
perfect life, I hope He will give me all the means necessary for
becoming a Saint."
**********
However, before ascending Carmel, Anna Mary expressed a wish to
climb the mount where St. Francis of Assisi, to whom she had a great
devotion, had received the Stigmata.
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